Laura McLoughlin

10th October – The Many Ghosts of Donahue Byrnes hit bookshelves at long last.

It’s a surreal, lovely, and nerve-wracking thing to have something you have worked on as long as I have my ghosts finally exposed to air. Part of you feels it may disintegrate at first breath, while another knows it cannot carry on in solitude forever (nor would you want it to because you did not make it for such things) while another fraction still is just relieved that whatever may happen, it is done.

I wrote a letter to myself over breakfast the morning it came out. I drank a pumpkin spiced flat white and ate french toast. The day was bright, sunny, and gold-flecked with autumn – a good omen, or so I told my husband. He replied, as he usually does, that I didn’t need any omens.

I like to see them coming all the same.

That night, I got to see this book not just in my hands but in an actual bookshop – Waterstones in Craigavon. This wonderful store and its wonderful staff hosted the launch – a little Q&A with some signings – and though I knew it would be there, upon seeing my book in store for the first time, I still felt a surge of self consciousness akin to witnessing one of your selfies printed and pasted up in public.

And then, too, there’s that feeling that it’s real all of a sudden – a real book amongst other real books told by real authors. Of course, I have known it was a real book for many months – wrote it with that intention, handed out proof copies to anyone who would take one, and admired a box full of beautiful finished hardbacks just weeks prior – but it still had the oddest quality of unreality to it. It still does.

In public, though, you can’t really languish the strangeness of a moment, so instead I said hello to my mum, dad, and auntie, who were already there. Then some of my friends turned up, and I thanked them for coming, before a few members of my church family arrived, though no sooner had I said hello to them that I realised my old high school teachers had walked through the door. Other friends showed up, and more family, and quite soon I realised that there were more people here than I had ever expected to find at this little launch. For the girl who once feared this event may have only been attended by her husband and her mother, but hates public speaking, this was both an unexpected delight and horror (though, the delight definitely took precedence).

And then, all of those lovely, generous people? They sold out the store of The Many Ghosts of Donahue Byrnes.

If you were one of those people – you have my endless thanks. And if you had already purchased a copy, or pre-ordered it, then thank you to you, too, for making this one of the sweetest evenings of my life.

We took the long way home via the McDonald’s driveway and the orchards around Loughgall, because it’s my favourite drive anywhere.

When we finally pulled into our driveway – arms filled with flowers and books – I looked up to the clear sky, all stars and big glowing moon. And a flicker of something else – something that might have been smoke, or magic, or, if my brother-in-law was to be believed, light pollution.

Except, no – as many other people around Northern Ireland would agree that night, it was the Northern Lights, dancing about in little old Benburb.

As we held up phone cameras and hurried out to the shadows of the field by our house, Blair turned to me and said, “Okay, that is a good omen.”

I would have to agree.